Learn and purge commences...now.

Learning, regurgitating, and purging information is NOT what I want to be doing.  I mean, I'd rather do anything but study at this point, but I am referring more to the purging step.  I want to retain everything I can.  I want to learn and make lasting connections.  I want to feel like I will get to the point where I can quickly rattle off a diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan immediately after a physical exam.  And stuck in first semester midterms without enough time to fully digest everything, it's hard to see how that will happen.

On Tuesday, I spent two hours in the hospital ICU observing patient care and shadowing the staff.  There was an intern and an internal medicine resident there, and I got to listen in on rounds as they switched off the patients from the day to the night staff.  I could follow a lot of their discussion, but there were times when I felt just awe-inspired by how confident they were in their clinical skills - and the intern is only four years ahead of me in training!  It was an awesome night, and I learned quite a bit - there was a post-PDA surgery puppy, a kitty with a chylothorax, a dog with splenic tumors, etc.  It was pretty cool to see so many of the topics we've discussed in lecture presented there as real, live cases.  But at the same time, as I was leaving for home, I couldn't help feeling this niggling doubt that getting to the point where I was the intern left on duty for the night was more than I could handle.

I'm doing fine in school - better actually than I thought I would be - but being trapped in this cycle of "learn this piece of information, process it as much as you can (but only half as much as you'd like), write it on an exam, tuck it away or flush it to make room for more" is demoralizing at times.  I mean, I can barely remember the main channel blood flow from the thoracic limb, which we learned only two months ago, without reviewing!  How am I ever going to learn all of the stuff needed to actually TREAT a patient?  I guess it comes with time, but it's slightly overwhelming to think about right now.

But back to regurgitation.

In the next four school days I have a histology quiz (cardiovascular, endocrine, renal, and respiratory systems), anatomy quiz (pelvic cavity), bacteriology quiz (mycoplasm, clostridium, strep, staph), and our first major anatomy exam (everything but the head).  There's just not enough time to really learn everything.  All you can do is study and learn for the exam, try to make some lasting connections in your head with the material, take the test, and immediately switch gears for the next.  It'll be a fuuuuun week ahead.  I forsee a lot of time spent in the anatomy lab this weekend.  But this time next week, I'll be waking up for class knowing I don't have another evaluation for over 14 days!  Cannot freaking wait.

I also got my first rabies shot yesterday, which was pretty exciting.  They pull out this huge needle to mix the vaccine, and it was kind of funny to watch everyone's eyes bulge out of their heads.  It actually didn't hurt much at all (the needle they use for injection was pretty tiny), and my arm is only a teensy bit sore.  The next in the series is next Wednesday and the last will be two weeks after that.  It'll be pretty cool to finally be a vaccinated staff member at a hospital!

Heading in to school in a few minutes.  Starting off the day with anatomy lab bright and early.  The smell of formalin at 9:00 am is pretty glorious.